I don't know about you but I have struggled with fear of failure over just about everything. Failure as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and above all, in my personal walk with Christ.
Wouldn't it have been ideal if God would have made us perfect and infallible from our creation? Well snap back to reality because He didn't. He made us fallible and imperfect, it's what we do with our imperfections that matters. But how do we deal with it when we feel like we are blowing it at every point? Let's come back to that. May I share with you my journey?
Like every new mom I faced the "normal" fears. Am I doing this right, what do they need, OMG why won't this baby stop crying? What if I....... The list can go on and on. Anyone else been there? Then they reach adulthood and it's like what the heck this is harder then the dreaded "terrible twos". It's knowing when to still parent them and when to step back. It's watching them stumble and fall and NOT stepping in to prevent it or keeping it from happening . That just isn't in the parent handbook people. Thanks Dr. Spock and the author of What to Expect When Expecting for leaving this chapter out!This chapter is hard. You feel like a failure because you didn't "prepare " them. This is where it gets real fun. The enemy, if you don't know who I'm talking about, Satan, steps in. He then turns all your worse fears and nightmares into a daytime soap opera in your head. To the point where you can't function and or distinguish fiction from non. You can't change the channel because what it's saying makes too much sense! This journey my friends is going nowhere good and it's going there fast.
When my kids are stumbling and making bad choices and decisions it makes me feel like I failed. Failed them, failed myself. So now my soft spot my weakness has been exposed and Satan goes for the jugular. He doesn't play fair friends. So what are we to do?
I went on a journey of self reflection.
In the journey I came across a fork in the road . I could go left. It's dark gloomy and full of danger, depression and despair. Driving along the shoulda, coulda woulda's road OR I can go to the right. At the right there is beauty, joy and acceptance. Acceptance that my kids, like me do not have to be perfect. That task is impossible. If you know how please tell me. Because coming to the acceptance that if they stumble and fall it doesn't make them nor I bad, but human. Also on the right road, I see their future. The life they have ahead of them because they know, love and serve the Lord. They are stronger and armed for battle because they wear the scars of wisdom and humility. You see Gods word and anointing on their lives hasn't changed, it's stronger! Our battles make us equipped for war! I also found the one and only thing that will keep me from turning that dumb soap opera on, worshipping my Lord and drenching myself in what He says about me and my kiddos. Soaking and taking in His presence.
I am going to choose the right fork in the road because Jesus died so that I would have love, joy, freedom and so so much more . Finally and the best reason to go to the right.... Jesus sits at RIGHT hand of the Father!
I invite you to go down the right road ,Jesus' road, with me. Will you join me, I have coffee?